Death to All
by NJrox
Summary: Very funny fic about all main Sweep charachter dieing. Please R & R. Truly really funny! Rated for some cursing...read anyway
1. Act One

disclaimer: ABOSLUTELY BLOODY NONE OF THESE CHARACHTERS ARE MINE!!! GET THE POINT, GOOD!!!! (always wanted to do that, seeing as this is my first fic)  
  
another disclaimer: this story was basically written in Darke-Macewan-witch's story The Love Spell.  
  
Death to all!!!!!  
  
(duhduhduhduh!!!)  
  
Act 1:  
  
Intermission:  
  
Act 2:  
  
The End:  
  
jjkjkjkjkjkjk---lol --k, onward!!  
  
Act 1:  
  
Scene 1:  
  
Hunter and Bree meet each other at the store.  
  
"Hey, Bree." said Hunter ," How you doin?"  
  
Bree pulls out a knife and deccapitates Hunter. "I'm doing fine, Hunter. Why thank you. "  
  
Hunter's ghost rises up from his lifeless body. "Bree!!! What was that for???!! Now i can't fall in love with Cal!!!!"  
  
Bree considers this then says, "Hmmmmm.....I really don't know.....I guess I felt like it.....Goodbye, Hunter...Have a nice life!!!"  
  
Hunter mutters , "mutter mutter mutter mutter". Then he yells clearly at Bree. "Bree!!! Do you realize you just killed me. In other words, I just died???? "  
  
Bree made no response. She just keeps a very straight face. Actually, she wasn't listening to him because she was too busy thinking about prancing naked in Korea. But he doesn't need to know that.....  
  
Hunter realizes that Bree got kinda spaced out but he kees yelling at her anyway. Finally, he just says, "ok then. Bye Bree!!! T------H-----A----N-----K--------Y-----O----U!!!" (his spirit was "rising" so his words were like muffled)  
  
Scene 2:  
  
Watching this whole scene was Morgan, who was waiting to kill Hunter because he was GAY!!!!!!!!!!! But Bree didn't need to know that...  
  
"!! Bree! You just killed my Murin Beatha Dan! Do you realize what you just did? (INSERT CURSE) (INSERT CURSE) (INSERT CURSE)."  
  
Bree merely glanced at Morgan. "Hi Morgan. Is everything okay?"  
  
Morgan turns..... not red... but PURPLE! "AHHHHH!!!!! YOU LITTLE (INSERT CURSE)!!!!"  
  
"Gosh Morgan, can't you take a joke?"  
  
"YEAH I CAN TAKE A JOKE!!!!" Morgan begins cracking up.  
  
Bree smiles and says. "Thats a good girl. Just because Hunter doesn't mean its not funny." Morgan and Bree start cracking up again.  
  
Then, when Bree falls on the ground laughing, Morgan stops, eats beans, then farts on Bree's face.  
  
Bree dies.  
  
"Excuse me?" Morgan looks at Bree. "Bree! Excuse me! What do you think your doing? You can't die when I'm not trying to kill you!"  
  
Morgan takes a breath, "Oh well, your dead." Morgan rejoices.   
  
Morgan goes to the pub and gets drunk.  
  
Sad.  
  
Scene 3:  
  
The next day, is Bree's funeral. (nobody liked Hunter so they didn't bother to have one for him)  
  
All of sudden, because of Morgan's obvious hangover, she starts cracking up in the middle of the ceremony....  
  
Robbie glares at her. Bree's father, who happened to hear about his daighter's sudden tragic death, decided to come home from a business trip(wink wink) in the Bahamas. Also, Bree's mother had come back to New York in that past week because her new son, whom she had with her tennis teacher, wanted to go to Disneyland but her mother has no competence to do anything remotely correct so they ended up taking a plane to New York. So, Bree's mom decided to pay the curtesy to take a quick look at her daughter's funeral. Because of a sudden knock to the head, she remembers how much she loves her daughter and decides to have pure hatred towards Morgan for laughing.   
  
Bree's mom thinks , "Die!!!Death!!!! She shall die for this ugly disturbance!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!''  
  
After all this processes, Morgan spills out that she killed her dead best friend.   
  
Robbies thoughts : " glare at her. Must glare!!! She must know how much I need to glare at her!!!!! Death!!!Ahhhhh" his voice get all squeaky from screaming and all the other 6 guests stare at him.   
  
Robbbi pulls out a gun and a badge and says, "You're under arrest!! I've been under cover and I love that insane women who you killed yesterday!!!"  
  
Bree comes out from her coffen. All must stare. "Excuse me? I'm trying to sleep here and obviously I can't with all this noise!!! So shut the beep up!!!!!! And please, no blood on my small coffin. Thank you then. O, and Morgan, try not to make this a habit. You know, killing people. Bye then!!"Bree returns to her coffin.  
  
All stare blankly.   
  
Robbie says "Too bad I can't honor Bree's last wishes. DIE MORGAN!!!" he laughs wickedly. He points his gun at Morgan and shoots. "bye bye"  
  
Morgan dies.....(o well. it woulda happened sooner or later)  
  
Scene 4:  
  
The next day at school, Robbie is in denial. All of the sudden, Chris (you know, Bree's ex) walks up to him.   
  
"May I help you?" Inquires Robbie.  
  
"Yes, I'll have a side of fries with that." Chris says absently. Then he shook his head. "Robbie, who is your girlfriend?"  
  
"Why, Bree." Replies Robbie.  
  
"Do you luuuuuuuuv her?"  
  
"No, I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuv her. Why would one inquire one such as myself with a question such as the one that thy just inquired?"  
  
Chris is stunned at Robbie's intellectual response. He drools for a second. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh" Starts whimpering. Says in a squeaky voice. "I. Don't. Like. You. Very. Much. You KILLLED HER YOU FAT A*S B*TCH!!!!!!"  
  
Robbie is not moved by Chris's outbrust. "Ok, I love you too Chris. Lets kiss and make up."  
  
Raven, overhearing this, laughs and says, "I always knew you were GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY (A/N If you don't know why we did that, then ignore it. And also all the dies.) Then Raven goes to make out with Sky.  
  
"HYPOCRIT!" Robbie calls after her.  
  
Chris is angry. "YOU'RE IGNORING ME! DIEEEEE!" Chris drops a big banana on the floor. Robbie trips on it and dies.  
  
Chris runs around in circles singing for joy, then bumps into a tree.   
  
Thus ends the joyful first act. 


	2. Act Two

Act 2:  
  
Scene 2:  
  
A week later, Raven is at Sky's house making out with her. Raven just casually mentions what she somewhat witnessed in the   
  
past week. Basically, she told Sky that Chris had killed Robbie. Sky dismissed this and continued to have sexual thoughts   
  
about Raven.   
  
Then next day, Sky calls Raven to come over but she declines. Then Sky checks the mirror, and to her horror, she's having a  
  
bad hair day.   
  
Sky screams, "AHHHHHH!!! Goddess help me!!! I'm no longer sexy!!! Ahhhh!!!!"  
  
Then, Sky checks the fridge for food. Then she remembers that she and Raven had pigged out the night before the the fridge  
  
had no food.   
  
Once again, Sky screams her head off. "How the hell can I live without food?????"  
  
So, using her bad instincts, she calls 911 and asks them how shes is supossed to get food. They shout at her and hang up.   
  
Having no clue how to survive, she gets into her car and drives in circles.  
  
Finally, Chris appears in front of her.   
  
Now, normally, Sky would've done something else but instead she crashes into him but he's still alive.   
  
Now with everything happening in that day, which was really bad, Chris not dying really pissed her off. Sky called upon the   
  
waters to choke him. He died.....  
  
Scene 3:  
  
Raven wakes up two days later and screams.   
  
"WHERE THE HELL IS CHRISSY BOY?" (A/N If you don't get that, ignore it.)   
  
Raven gets up and walks to her car.  
  
"CHRIS!!! TODAY WAS OUR DATE TO CHEAT ON SKY AND HAVE SEX REMEMBER????"  
  
No one answered, so Raven drives out to the park, where she spots Sky dragging a big lump over the cliff.  
  
"Yo, Sky! What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm throwing Chris off the cliff, DUH!"  
  
Raven shruggs."Cool. Can I help?"  
  
Raven assists Sky in heaving Chris over the cliff.   
  
Then Sky has a spasm attack. "ATTACK OF THE INFINTILE PUNISHMENTS!!!"  
  
Raven stares blankly. "Um.. Sky?"  
  
Sky shakes Raven's shoulders. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND??? THAT MEANS THE APRICOT TICKLES!!!"  
  
Raven finally gets it and nods. "Oh yeah, the brocolli."  
  
Sky comes out of her trance. "Where did Chris go?"  
  
"CHRIS!" Raven screams, finally realizing that Chris is dead. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU KILL HIM, YOU LITTLE HAIRY MONSTER!"  
  
Sky starts to cry. "I THOUGHT YOU LIKED MY HAIR!"  
  
Raven frowns. "I did! But that was BEFORE." (DUN DUN DUN)  
  
Sky jumps over the cliff.  
  
"That was NOT my fault." Raven says to the tree beside her. "NO. IT. WASN'T!!!" A squirrel looks at her. "THATS RIGHT!   
  
GO TELL ALL YOUR LITTLE HAIRY FRIENDS!!!"  
  
The squirrel runs away.  
  
"Oh well. It WAS pretty funny seeing her go over the cliff... HA HA HA HA HA..."  
  
Thus ends act two.  
  
INTERMISSION 


	3. Act Three

End of Intermission:  
  
Act 3:  
  
Scene 1:  
  
Moments after the big Sky-jumping-off-the-cliff incident, Ciaran MacEwan floated downwards directly behind Raven.   
  
"You know Raven, what you did was very evil. You know that?"   
  
"Um....SOOOOOO?????" asks a confused Raven.  
  
"Well, I'm afraid since I have now discovered your potential to be more evil than me, well, in simple words   
  
that you can understand, I have to kill you."  
  
He pauses.   
  
"You do understand, don't you? I usualy give my prey more time to comprehend what I intend to do, but you're a special   
  
case"  
  
Raven shakes her head when she finds out who is speaking to her. "Are you telling me that I have acomplised my life long   
  
dream of becoming the most evil person in the world????" She is so happy that she walks up to Ciaran and gives him a huge   
  
kiss on the lips. (a/n ya i no, that is soooo gross)  
  
"But you know Raven, no matter how well you kiss, I still have to kill you. But maybe I could find you in my afterlife?  
  
Hopefully, cuz that kiss was realllllly good......"  
  
Ciaran snaps his fingers and her pulse stops. (duhduhduhduhnnnnnnnnnnnn....) (sry)   
  
Ciaran realizes how much Raven meant to him and he screams out to the world he wants to dominate, "What the f*ckin  
  
h*ll have I just done??????!!!!!" People in the park stare at him and he mutters. "O great, MacEwan, now you have random   
  
people staring at you, too?....." He screams, " What the f*** are you looking at? The scene is over!!! Go back to your   
  
petty non-magickal lives!!!!!"......  
  
Ciaran then realizes that he just exposed magick to them so he decides to kill them all. Speaking of that, he then decides   
  
to kill every non-magickal being in the world. "Bye-bye to all you sheltered people!!! Have A Nice Day!!!!"  
  
Scene 2:  
  
Mr. Niall is walking along the road when he senses that Raven is dead.   
  
"YAY!!!! THANK BLOODY HELL SHE'S DEAD!" People stare.  
  
"Who killed her?" Mr.Niall asks, not aware that people think he is nuts.  
  
"Um... that dude." Some dude said. He points at Ciaran.   
  
Mr.Niall looks at Ciaran.  
  
"MY LOVE!" Mr. Niall runs into Ciaran arms.   
  
Ciaran looks at Mr. Niall.  
  
"Who the f*ck are you?" Ciaran asks.  
  
"Um... I'm your soul mate! Remember me?" Mr. Niall looks at Ciaran eagerly. "I love you!"  
  
Ciaran sniffles. "I love you too baby."   
  
~~THEY MAKE OUT~~  
  
Cal ghost prances by.  
  
"YO!!!!!" He screams, seeing the heinous scene in front of him.  
  
"What?" Ciaran and Mr.Niall ask together. Then they start making out again.  
  
Cal screams. "What do you mean, 'what?'???? If you are going out, then that means that means that I'm related to Morgan   
  
which means that Morgan is related to Hunter which means that we both went out with our sister which means that me and   
  
Hunter almost went out with each other, but they're dead so that means..."  
  
While Cal is ranting, Ciaran and Mr. Niall have gay sex.   
  
Cal sees this. "MY EYES! I'M SCARED FOREVER!"  
  
"YOUR DEAD, YOU FREAK OF MAGICK!!!" Mr.Niall screams.  
  
"You're right.." Cal says. "And I HATE when people are right! You little-"  
  
"HEY! YOU CAN'T TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT!" Ciaran snaps his fingers. Cal's ghost is banished forever.  
  
Ciaran and Mr. Niall walk off togehter in the moonlight, holding hands.  
  
NARRATOR: This begining of a beautiful friendship... *tear* (A/N Yeah, that was the first and last time  
  
your gonna see the narrator.)  
  
Thus ends Act Three  
  
THE END  
  
look for an epilogue!!! ;} 


End file.
